My Bipolar Afternoon

I  parked at the rear of the lot. I have started doing that to add to my exercise routine. There I was standing in the rear of the supermarkets parking lot. It was a busy day with lots of cars whipping around. I felt panic raise up into me as I dodged and weaved around the cars, and their impatient drivers. The doors were closer now, but the cars were diving by so fast. So many. I  started breathing heavy again. But I know I had to continue to relative safety.

I  made it to the automatic door and a blast of refreshing cold air hit me in the face. As I entered my stomach instantly knotted. There were so many people, rushing around with their carts reading their shopping lists.

I started to panic. Too many people. Moving too fast. One voice was telling me to get out, another to grab a cart. The sensible won out over instinct. I grabbed a shopping cart and blended in with everyone else. Having the cart in front of me gave a bit of security and I started to calm down into the routine of shopping.

I didn’t need much so I was at the (empty thank goodness) checkout. The woman behind the counter wished me a good afternoon. When I tried to return the pleasantry all that came out was something like “god…..rtune”. My voice wasn’t ready for talking just yet. Now the parking  lot again, only this time I had a weapon, the trusty shopping cart, with me.

shopping cartI dodged and weaved with the best of them back to the car. I put my groceries in the van and began to take the cart (my protector) back to the store. Just when I thought all was well. The fear of the day actually happened.

This kid, driving a new Camero drove right into my cart. It wasn’t just a “tap” either. He managed to take a lot of the paint of his right side front quarter panel.

The kid jumps out of the car and started swearing at me with language I had never heard before, even when I was a Security Officer. That was enough to push me into manic. I reared up to my full height ,(I am a big guy at 6’2″ 325 lbs) and a calm passed over me, and I looked him right in the eye and said, ” Shall we give the cart a ticket then”.

That was enough for him, he got back in his car and left with a squealing of his tires and just about smashes into another car in the lot. I knew my manic ‘phases’ can come out sometimes as anger and hostility. I abandoned the cart and did my own angry drive home.

So how was your afternoon………

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