Depression and Marrage

DivorceWhen I get depressed, I get very thin-skinned. The whole world is there to bother me. This probably helped  spark the painful feelings during the divorce of my first wife. I felt, at the time, that she was always nagging me. In hindsight  it was me taking everything so personally, that any discussion turned into a huge explosion of emotion.

I think I was depressed throughout the marriage, ( 3 kids, 3 million diaper changes all in less than 3 years).

I wasn’t diagnosed yet back then so I couldn’t comprehend what was going on sometimes. Near the end all I would do was hide in the basement with my computer (commodore 64) and watched TV.

I remember one night she came down and told me she didn’t love me anymore. I was so wrapped up in my cocoon by that point, that what she said barely scratched the surface of my shield I was hiding behind, After that it was the usual lawyer stuff. He said/she said. We haven’t spoken until just recently 20 odd years later. ( thin skin )

It wasn’t until another 5 years after the divorce that I was diagnosed with depression. I was given Prozac, the worst drug you can give a Manic Depressive. The Summer of Prozac, I like to call it was an interesting time and is a whole other story.

1 Comment

Filed under Family, Grief, Me, Motivation

One response to “Depression and Marrage

  1. You have a very good way of describing what depression is and how it affects both the person themselves and those close to them. Thanks for sharing, Eric.

    Like

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